Monday, March 26, 2012

So far so good....

I am finishing Day 4 of my first treatment of A/C.  And I'm doing pretty darn well!  Friday morning came early with lots of anxiety.  My Dad came and got Ethan on the bus for me, since Brian had to go to PT before meeting up with me.  My friend Jody picked me up at 10:30am with rice krispy treats made with pb (thanks Aunt Jeanne-delish!) and ginger ale and off we went with my bag and blanket and frayed nerves. 
My other friend Carissa was able to meet us at the Cancer Center for my tx also-it was like a little Chemo Party!  We overtook the first row next to the windows, I'm sure I was the youngest person in there, and within minutes we had made friends!  Imagine that? 
So there's this routine to how this whole treatment day goes, and me being new to the cancer game was not aware of this. 

Get there, get checked in, get armband on.

Go to tx room, get weighed, pick a seat, any seat, move in.

wait. wait. vitals taken. wait. wait. wait.

RN comes and accesses port-awesome BTW-you know how when you have an IV, and you feel everything going in it, including saline?  Not with a port-nice!
RN draws labs, hangs fluids.

The big question-do you want some Ativan for nerves?  Absolutely!
In goes Ativan, Emend, Steroid.

wait. wait. wait. wait. pee. wait. wait. wait.

Meet with Jennifer-NP about lab results.  They were just as expected- WBC-or white count is 6, and Neutrophils 2.5.  By this Friday they are expected to be cut in half from the hit on them from the chemo.

RN comes back with 2 syringes of The Red Devil.  Hand injects.  Done with one drug.

RN leaves to go get Cytoxan.  I pee again.  Did I mention the Adriamycin is just a shade lighter coming out as it was going in?  And that fast.  I had been warned about that so I wouldn't freak out.  No freak out.

RN comes back with Cytoxan, hangs it, starts it, runs for one hour. 


Was I really that worked up?  Yep, I was. 

Then I spent all weekend waiting for the proverbial ball to drop.  Am I gonna get sick now?  Or now?
Today?  Tomorrow?
So here's what I did; pretended like I didn't have cancer, and hung out at home Friday night, Saturday went to the zoo and dinner with the Williams.
I took my prescribed regimen of anti-emetic meds and it wasn't until Sunday morning about 7am that I felt the first twinge of nausea. 
Ethan's food was beeping off (he's on a continuous feeding pump, and he sometimes gets rolled over on it and kinks it, and it beeps)  I awoke to the noise, and instantly felt like I could throw up.  I laid there for a few minutes then I woke my Mom up-told her to get Hailey, my meds, and the famous yellow puke buckets.  Oh, and some saltines. 
Took my Emend, ate 2 crackers, drank some water, laid back down and within an hour it had passed.

Later that day I went with my Mom and sisters shopping for my youngest sister's wedding dress.  Then we went with the Phillips to a fundraiser for an officer's family whose wife also has breast cancer, then home to chill out!

Today I went back to the Cancer Center for my Neulasta shot.  Easy, sub-q in the fat part of the back of my arm, 5 minutes and we're done.  This should help keep my blood counts from being at their lowest for too many days, thus cutting down on some fatigue.  We'll see, it also comes with severe bone pain, woo-hoo can't wait!  I took a little walk tonight in the lovely weather, and felt darn skippy!

 Sunday night I drove down to the hospital I work at to see some co-workers and chat.    That just made me sad.  And mad.  Real mad.  In dealing with this, the one thing that pisses me off royally is that I can't go back to work while I fight this.  I can't go to the job I enjoy with the people I enjoy who make me laugh and earn an honest living.  I want to work.  I like work, and I feel useless not being able to.  I completely understand that right now the risk of me being infected by someone I take care of at the hospital poses a bigger threat than anything else, but it doesn't make it any easier.  It infuriates me that there are so many people out there who don't have cancer, who could go to work without the risk of a life-threatening illness, and simply choose not too.  This goes hand in hand with us not asking  for help, and me not working puts us in a financial position where we have no choice.   But we have the most awesome support system, and I'm even being told on a daily basis I'm not letting people do enough for us!  So, I'm trying.  And we are appreciative beyond words, and somehow, we will do for someone else, what has been done for us during this journey. 
I will say this, if you ask me what I need, I will say nothing. 
If you ask what you can do for me I will say nothing.
Ditto for my husband. 
So if you say "I'm bringing you dinner/lunch/breakfast and doing your laundry while you sleep you stubborn ass"  I will let you. 

And foot rubs are always welcome too!

ps- I still have my hair.....

A/C  treatment #1 03/23/2012

1 comment:

  1. Is it weird that I really wanna come to your chemo party? I love your honesty and attitude. You inspire me.
    And...I feel ya on the "what can I do?" shtick. Yesterday, a neighbor said, "I'm bringing you dinner." (knowing Blair has been gone). It made me cry.
    Wish I were close to help.